When the trailer dropped for the 2020 remake of ‘Valley Girl,’ the movie looked promising. Set in 80s California, a typical “bad boy” and a goody two-shoes Valley girl fall in love. What could go wrong? Then I realized Logan Paul was in it.

‘Valley Girl,’ the movie cast Logan Paul in a role that required him to wear short shorts.
Video Courtesy of YouTube.

Oh, the 80s. What a time I wasn’t alive for, yet feel nostalgic about. ‘Valley Girl’ (2020) promised viewers a musical comedy filled with fun 80s covers, big hair and a romance that transcends socio-economic class. Unfortunately, we only received horrific, yet endearing hairstyles.

But I’m being petty. Let’s talk about the nicer qualities of the movie, ‘Valley Girl.’

The pros of the movie, ‘Valley Girl.’

  • Julia, the primary character, ditches Logan Paul’s character Mikey with no remorse.
  • A very cute actor named Josh Whitehouse portrays Randy, the guy “from the wrong side of the Hollywood Hills.”
  • There is a semi-sweet reconciliation between Julia and her friend Karen after they both date Mickey (Paul) and realize he sucks.
'Valley Girl' shows there's an enormous difference between "the other side of the hill." Movie magic.
‘Valley Girl’ shows there’s an enormous difference between Hollywood and “the other side of the hill.”
Image by David Mark from Pixabay

Now, we must get into the nitty gritty because this movie wasn’t just disappointing because of its bizarre casting.

The many cons of ‘Valley Girl.’

Primary characters, Julia and Randy exist as a “good girl” and a “bad boy” for the entire movie. There’s no depth to their lives or their personalities. The most we learn about Julia is that she dreams of pursuing fashion in New York. Then there’s poor Randy. His main schtick is that he’s young, wild and free. What a punk.

Twice it’s implied that he doesn’t have a relationship with his parents, but we never really find out why. Are we supposed to believe that his parents ditched him when he joined a band and got a few tattoos? We don’t know because we learn close to nothing about these characters!

Then there’s the relationship between Randy and Julia. Similar to their characters, it lacks emotional range. It’s a lot of raised eyebrows moving back and forth because they can’t believe how “rad” the other person is. And before either of them have time to dive deeper, they’re busting out into song or making out in Randy’s convertible. But I guess that’s what happens in the valley! Nothing makes any sense.

‘Valley Girl’ remake gets 1/5 stars because it’s such a hollow movie.

Aside from the previously mentioned superficial characteristics of our major players, ‘Valley Girl’ never found its footing. The tone was all over the place. Transitions from song to dialogue were choppy. It didn’t maintain an 80s movie atmosphere. Most of the side characters were awful friends to Julia and Randy. The attempts at humor were beyond cringe to where it made me sad. The movie’s ending was lackluster because the ‘Valley Girl’ couple didn’t end up together. According to wise, old Julia, “Your first love doesn’t work out.” I love blanket statements.

Instead, Julia married some random schmuck who never appears in the movie and had an annoying daughter. And then there’s our dear Randy. He became the hot rockstar we all hoped he would be.

The one star is for Randy, the savior of this movie. Without him ‘Valley Girl’ would have been ‘Valley Girl, What In The Hollywood Hell?’