Are you looking for love, but keep looking in all the wrong places? Rethinking how and where you look for your relationships can help break your love life out of that rut!

Rethink how you look for relationships and give your love life the jolt it needs.
Rethink how you look for relationships and give your love life the jolt it needs.
Photo by Julian Myles on Unsplash

the Best Way to Look for Love and Relationships Is to Stop Looking!

Look for self love instead and manifest a relationship later!
Look for self love instead and manifest a relationship later!
Photo by Frank Busch on Unsplash

How long have you been looking for a relationship? Why are you looking for love? If you’ve been dating “unsuccessfully” for a while, you will likely put pressure on yourself to find love. This also puts pressure on every potential relationship. The pressure to find love can become toxic to your mental health and prevent your relationships from going anywhere. Why do we have such a limited view of the dating we consider “successful” anyway?

The harder you look for a relationship, the more likely you will be to settle for relationships that aren’t right for you. The desperation to find love can cause someone to lower their relationship standards. Low relationship standards, combined with desperation for love, can leave someone vulnerable to abusive relationships (please note: abuse is never a survivor’s fault).

I believe the health of a relationship and love presence are much more important than your relationship status. Taking the time to develop your self-love and sense of what you want while single can help you focus on potential relationship partners or love interests. Practice radical acceptance. Accept and embrace the fact that you are single rather than looking for a relationship. Instead of spending your time dwelling on the love you don’t have, try to be grateful for the love you have.

Instead of Looking for a Relationship, Open Yourself Receiving to Love

Open yourself to love rather than looking for it, and you may find a relationship.
Open yourself to love rather than looking for it, and you may find a relationship.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

If you are looking for a relationship, you probably know what you want. Although it is good to know what you want out of a relationship, beware of becoming too picky. Only looking for one specific thing from love limits the number of relationships you bring into your life. It, therefore, lowers the probability of finding a relationship that lasts.

Conducting your love life purely within the direct messages of dating apps, or at events planned for singles, doesn’t always generate relationships. Why are you only looking to build relationships with people based on little but the fact that they also want a relationship? I’m not trying to talk trash about dating apps. Plenty of people use them to great success. But if you’ve already been looking for love for a while, why not give something else a try?

For example, open yourself up to fresh experiences and adventures. Join clubs, sports leagues, and organizations for causes you love. Sign up alone and adopt an attitude for attracting new connections while you’re there. Those connections are potential relationships. Having common interests is a superb way to start a relationship. Start the conversation there and see where it goes, without worrying whether someone fulfills your every relationship requirement.

3. Build Love by Looking for Relationships With People Who Share Your Values

When your friends share your values, you often find love without even looking for it as relationships grow.
When your friends share your values, you often find love without even looking for it as relationships grow.
Photo by nappy from Pexels

Although bonding with someone over common interests is a marvelous way to start a relationship, don’t rely on your hobbies for love connections.  Instead, build all your relationships with people who share your values.

Consider how your values influence your life. You’ve likely made many of your important decisions based on your values. When I refer to your “values,” I’m referring to your ideas about the best way to live your life, and practices within love and relationships. It makes sense that you would want a relationship with someone who lives according to similar ideals.

When you surround yourself with people who share your values, they will inevitably introduce you to others. Your community will grow based on what you love. By also allowing yourself to stop looking for love, and opening your mind to new connections, you give yourself a greater opportunity to manifest the relationship you were looking for.


Have more questions about looking for love? Are you confused about how to move forward with a relationship? Ask Renea your question directly and get customized love and relationship advice directly from Aroono to your inbox!