Is it just me, or does it feel like everyone’s love life sucks right now? If you’re having a tough time kick-starting a healthy love life post-quarantine, here are some tips!
Make Your Love Life Healthier by Working on Yourself
Quarantine is loosening up, allowing everyone to pursue their love life in person again. Yet, we are still in the middle of an international pandemic. There is a lot about life that’s uncertain at the moment. This context is incredibly anxiety-inducing.
Just because you can go on dates again, doesn’t mean you should. At least maybe not right away. For those of us who in quarantine, it has been a while since we’ve spent time with unfamiliar people. We are out of practice, and our social skills are rusty. Plunging into a social situation before you’re ready can add more anxiety.
Before you jump back into your love life, do a mental health check-in with yourself. How do you feel about yourself? How are you managing your stress? Can you handle the responsibility of a relationship on top of it all? Mental health matters in relationships. Allowing yourself the space to get as mentally healthy as possible as an individual leads to healthier relationships in the long run.
Make Your Love Life Healthier by Setting Boundaries
The post-Covid-19 dating scene will probably look different. Now is the perfect time to reconsider your boundaries in your relationships. Your interpersonal needs may have changed, depending on your context for the last few months.
For example, my friend, who lives alone, is ready for a relationship. After four months of quarantining by herself, she is looking for someone else who is prepared for healthy social interaction. Therefore, communicating boundaries with potential partners is important in finding someone who wants the same from their love life.
This advice doesn’t just apply to the single life either. My partner and I spent almost 100% of our time together during quarantine. I love my partner; he is my best friend, and it takes a lot for us to get sick of each other. By the end of quarantine, though, we got there. When my partner went back to work, we had to re-establish a healthy work-life balance; something we hadn’t worried about recently.
Make Your Love Life Healthier by Asking for What You Want
One lesson I took away from a world locked in the merciless jaws of Covid-19 is that nothing is absolute. As cliché as it sounds, life changes quickly, and we can’t guarantee tomorrow. It is time to stop settling for less and start asking for exactly what you want out of your love life.
I recently learned the power of asking directly for what I want. I lived most of my life terrified of people thinking I’m high maintenance. I was so determined to gain approval and for others to see me as “laid back,” I always just went with the flow. Even if I really didn’t want to. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I just assumed it was because I didn’t deserve it. This deficit thinking led to many unhealthy relationships based on taking advantage of my easiness.
Then, in therapy, I learned the skills I needed to allow me to assert my needs. Asking directly for what I want out of my love life was uncomfortable at first. It wasn’t easy to grow my voice after a lifetime of staying silent. It was surprising how much the health of my relationships improved when I started asking for exactly what I wanted. If someone loves you, they typically want to reciprocate your love and give you what you want. If they don’t, then maybe it’s a sign they’re not the right partner!
Did you like this article or have anything to add? Let me know in the comments section. Be sure to stop back into Love Aroono for all your romance and dating needs!