Do you ever do things in your relationship you know you shouldn’t? Having toxic habits doesn’t make you a toxic person, but it can ruin your relationship.

Toxic habits can ruin even the strongest relationship.
Toxic habits can ruin even the strongest relationship.
Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Toxic Relationship Habit #1: Going Through Their Phone

Going through your partner's phone is a toxic relationship habit.
Going through your partner’s phone is a toxic relationship habit.
Photo by Yura Fresh on Unsplash

Everyone has the right to privacy. Your partner valuing their privacy is not evidence of guilt. Why don’t you trust your partner?

If your urge to go through your partner’s phone is becoming a habit, there are deeper issues in your relationship. Relationships become toxic without trust. Instead, communicate with your partner about your feelings.

If your concerns about your partner are valid, it may be time to end the relationship. If your concerns are because of bad memories from a past relationship, your current partner can help you get mental health support. Don’t let past toxic relationships turn your current one toxic too!

Toxic Relationship Habit #2: Using Social Media as a Tool

Using social media as a tool in your relationship is a toxic habit
Using social media as a tool in your relationship is a toxic habit
Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

You use social media as a relationship tool if you use it to spy on, punish, or embarrass your partner. Several social media habits fit into these toxic behaviors. For example, do you ever block your partner when you’re mad at them?

Do you post about fights, or mistakes your partner makes? Do you fight with your partner about things they “like?” Do you ever get mad because your partner doesn’t post something?

Activity on social media proves nothing. Allowing social media to affect your relationship is a toxic habit. Your followers don’t need the intimate details of your relationship. Punishing your partner at all, rather than talking things through, is toxic. Build a strong partnership by improving communication offline.

Toxic Relationship Habit #3: Only Spending Time with Each Other

Cutting out each other's friends is a toxic relationship habit.
Cutting out each other’s friends is a toxic relationship habit.
Photo by chester wade on Unsplash

Quality time is a superb way to build a strong relationship. I am not suggesting you cut down on quality time with your partner.

Quality time away from your partner is just as important. I’m sure your partner fulfills a lot of your needs. Chances are, there are some things you just can’t do together.

For example, my husband loves to garden. I hate manual labor and getting dirty. No matter how much I love him, when he talks about his plants, I zone out. It is natural that he needs to spend time with other people who he can talk to about gardening. Even though we’re apart, it strengthens our relationship.

Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development , found in his research that, “Social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills.” Data collected over 75 years show that people who are less lonely live longer, healthier lives.

It is natural for my husband to get lonely if he has no one to talk to about gardening. If our relationship stops him from having other friends, it would become toxic for him!


If you have some of these toxic habits, it’s ok! Being self aware allows you to grow. Keep your relationship healthy by being honest about habits it’s time to change.