Idealization has a lot to do with the relationships we form. Here are 4 benefits of the idealization and how it molds our romantic relationships.

4 benefits of Idealization in Romantic Relationships.
4 benefits of Idealization in Romantic Relationships.
Graphic by Haydee Vanegas.

Under the psychoanalytic theory, we have mechanisms to protect ourselves. A defense mechanism is a psychological strategy and is unconsciously used to protect us from suffering.

One of those defense mechanisms is the Idealization. It is the exaggeration of positive attributes of a person or situation combined with the minimization of its defects. Under the idealization, we see something as perfect or nearly perfect.

In that way, we apply the idealization with ourselves and with our relationships. The biggest example is the idealization of parents and other figures that play a role in our Ego’s development. So, the idealization molds the way we relate to others, and what we expect from them.

And here are 4 benefits to know about how idealization determines our romantic relationships:

1. The Idealization Is Based On Fantasy And Rationally Kept

1 thing to know about idealization in relationships.
1 thing to know about idealization in relationships.
Graphic by Haydee Vanegas.

Under the idealization, our view of another person is a fantasy, so that version of them only exists in our heads. When we see the other person’s limitations, we rationalize them.

We warp their defects to fit our ideal version, even when it’s not real. This way, the idealization benefits us to continue with our romantic relationships.

2. Idealization Is Related To Attraction

2 thing to know about idealization in relationships.
Thing 2 to know about idealization in relationships.
Graphic by Haydee Vanegas.

The idealization process facilitates the process of attraction. When we feel attracted to someone, idealization begins to creep into our brains. Our romantic relationships are determined by the feelings we get from another person.

Idealization benefits our romantic relationships by allowing us to hold onto our attraction. We keep seeing that other person in a way that we can relate to romantically.

3. Idealization Creates Expectations

Thing 3 to know about idealization in relationships.
Thing 3 to know about idealization in relationships.
Graphic by Haydee Vanegas.

At the start, romantic love is an illusion. Thanks to the idealization, we search for a specific person. Our expectations are defined by what we think we need. In that way, we not only expect a specific someone, but also the relationship we want.

The idealization process benefits us by making us search for our special one. It also benefits us by putting in the effort to build the romantic relationship we think we need.

4. Idealization Needed For Love

Idealizing our significant other is a necessity. The idealization of someone motivates us to fall in love and the biological response is the production of phenylethylamine. This allows us to focus on doing things together. It’s how we start a romantic relationship with someone.

So idealization benefits us by covering one of our basic needs: companionship. It also benefits us physically by giving us the phenylethylamine we need to feel motivated and happy.


Idealization is not only a defense mechanism but an entire process that determinations our romantic relationships. The benefits are not only psychological, but physical and social as well. We are all searching for that certain significant other; thanks to the idealization process, we know what we’re looking for.