Ever wondered if it’s love or infatuation you are feeling? They are similar but you’ll be surprised how different they are. Are you in love or just infatuated?

Graphic saying "love or infatuation?"
Is it love or infatuation?

Intense vs. Calming

If you are head over heels with someone, everything around you just completely vanishes, and it doesn’t matter. All you are seeing is that attractive, perfect person that you almost want to put on a pedestal to worship. You feel excited to the point of having an adrenaline rush that is tiring and energy draining. It is almost the same as having anxiety, which makes you fidgety, breathe heavily, and feel as if you are dazed. The excitement that the feeling gives you is more in the sexual aspect, and it’s intense. That is what infatuation does to you.

Love is the exact opposite. It will give you the same excitement when you are with that special someone, but the vibe is different. You are still conscious of the reality around you all the while you’re enjoying the moment. You are happy, comfortable, and peaceful all inside on the sole reason that your loved one is nearby.

You vs. Us

Couples' fingers intertwined with each other.
Love is “Us” because it is selfless.
Photo by Jasmine Carter from Pexels

Did it ever come to your mind that supporting your loved one’s needs and dreams almost feels like an obligation? I know I have. I was in a relationship where I always had to disregard what I think to adjust to whatever my partner wanted. I was taking my work for granted and abandoning my daily responsibilities to be always available for him. I was cheering him on with his endeavors while I was failing to realize that I was losing my own.

If it’s an infatuation that is controlling your relationship, it usually just focuses on one party while the other’s job is to support. And although others may find this normal, it’s unhealthy.

Love is never that way. Your needs and opinions matter just as much as your partner’s. Two people in love should be supporting each other’s journey and should plan for the future as “us” and not “you” or “I”.

Disconnection vs. Being One

happy couple smiling at each other
Love is never lonely.
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

If you notice that your relationship with your partner only revolves around joyous moments and it just suddenly disconnects when you’re facing adversity, it could be a sign of infatuation. You may not be feeling confident to confide in your partner, and you’ll be surprised just how much you don’t know about each other. Infatuation doesn’t care about drama, and it doesn’t acknowledge imperfections, thus the disconnection in the deeper aspect of the relationship.

Love is being one with your special someone, whether it may be on happy or down moments. Both act as a battery charger for when the other one is completely drained. When one is broken, the other will be affected. That’s how love works. You don’t just want to be physically present with each other, but you have the desire to understand every aspect of the relationship.

Insecurity vs. Trust

Man and woman standing under flowering tree
Infatuation is insecurity. Love is confidence and trust.
Photo by Helena Lopes from Pexels

We all went through that stage where we don’t feel comfortable with our partners hanging out with friends, right? Or perhaps, you over overthink how he’s going to find someone better and leave you for good, so as a result, you try to cling to him as much as possible. If that happens a lot, there is a high chance that you are in an infatuation-controlled relationship where physical presence is a big deal.

Love is the total opposite because it’s confident. Although, at times, you may feel jealous and insecure, your trust in your partner always prevails. You know deep inside that the foundation of your relationship won’t collapse that easily.

Quick and Short-Termed vs. Slow and Everlasting

couple sitting in the back of the car
Love is slow progress that would last for life.
Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

When you feel “love at first sight” with someone, everything else around doesn’t matter anymore. And as quick as a lightning bolt, you are “in love”. For days or months, you will talk nonstop about “the love of your life” to your friends. There might even be situations where you will have to abandon a crucial work meeting because he’s inviting you for dinner. Everything is past-faced, and it’s all about this “special someone”.

As the months pass, however, infatuation will subside. You drained your energy and lived your life in your fantasies, gave all your focus to this feeling, and as quick as it came into your life, it is also quick to leave.

Love is slow progress. And it is not all about just rainbows and happiness. It is not defined only by how much physical attraction you have for each other but by how deep your connection is. Love will test your relationship—fights, disagreement, buckets of tears—but if the feelings are real, these are mere obstacles.

Love is built with a strong foundation and will surely last for a lifetime.


One may ask, “Can infatuation turn into love?” Yes! Infatuation is considered to be an early stage of romantic love. If you’ll think about it, couples who are in long-termed relationships were once strangers to each other, and you can’t expect that they fell in love as soon as they met, right? They were probably once infatuated.

With these differences we mentioned here, do you think you can now answer the question, “is it love or infatuation?”