Self Love is trendy right now. I see it all over social media, mentioned in hashtags and memes. It sounds great, right? But how do you get it?

A yard sign reminds you, you are worthy of self love.
A yard sign reminds you, you are worthy of self love. Photo by Tim Mossholder from Pexels

1. Love Your Physical Self: Work “With” Your Body, Not “On” it!

A woman practicing self love by meditating.
A woman practicing self love by meditating. Photo by Oluremi Adebayo from Pexels

There is a lot of pressure in our culture to stay fit. Diet marketing, fashion magazines, and gorgeous celebrities make us feel a lot of shame about our bodies. It is easy to look in the mirror and find things you want to change.

Here’s the thing, you only get one body! If you put your focus on changing your body because of things you don’t like about it, you will never love the body you have. You will never feel self love. Instead, change your mindset by being grateful for your body’s assets. What are you good at doing with your hands? Where have your legs taken you? What has using your voice achieved?

If you still want to get fit, that’s great! But change your motives. Do you want to get fit so you can make your body perfect? Or do you want to get fit so your body feels and looks the best it can? Follow influencers, like Yoga With Adriene‘s Adriene Mishler, who support your fitness goals by inviting you to meet your body where it’s at and enjoy the journey.

2. Love Your Inner Self: What Do You Like Doing Alone?

For a long time, there were many hobbies I was interested in that I never pursued because I couldn’t find anyone to do them with me. Humans are social animals. We like engaging in leisure activities with loved ones because they enhance our relationships. Part of engaging in self love, though, is being able to love your identity separate from everyone else.

This idea clicked for me one day when I was feeling lonely. Several friends had recently moved away, and everyone else I love was at work on my day off. What I would usually do in this situation is binge Netflix all day, feeling sad. Instead, I explored one of my interests I don’t share with anyone in my life; I painted.

My painting was just for me. I didn’t show the finished product to anyone outside of my husband. But I wasn’t lonely anymore.

3. Love Your Outer Self: How Do You Connect With Others?

Build self love by engaging in service like volunteering at a community garden
Build self love by engaging in service like volunteering at a community garden. Photo by Elaine Casap on Unsplash

Feeling a sense of belonging in your community helps build self love. It is easier to love yourself when you can see evidence of how and why others love you. Think about your relationships with those around you, are they fulfilling to you? Are the members of your circle lifting you up, or bringing you down? Are your relationships reciprocated?

Thinking deeply about your connection to others can help give you a sense of purpose. Feeling like you have a purpose fulfills you spiritually and helps you fall in love with yourself. How do you already contribute to your community? How can you use your privilege to help others? What does being a “good person” mean to you?

Being mindful about who you are, what you can do, and how you can contribute to the world around you are three simple ways to start you on your journey to self love.